Over the years, I’ve noticed a fascinating paradox in conversations about finances. Some people manifest abundance, only to find themselves chasing more or watching it disappear. Others experience financial shocks—like job loss, an unexpected expense, or divorce—and struggle to recover. Meanwhile, there are those who seem to glide through life with “just enough,” exuding a quiet confidence about money.
Why do these patterns persist? And why does chasing abundance often lead to scarcity? The answer lies in how the human mind is wired.
The Human Mind: Survival Over Extravagance
At its core, our brain is not wired for extravagance—it’s wired for survival. Neuroscience shows us that our subconscious mind prioritizes safety above all else. While consciously we may dream of financial abundance, the subconscious often perceives sudden wealth as a threat. Unfamiliar responsibilities, fear of mismanagement, and the risk of loss can activate our survival instincts.
This is where the paradox begins: while abundance excites us consciously, it can trigger subconscious stress responses that lead to self-sabotage. We might overspend, fail to save, or avoid taking steps to stabilize our finances because, deep down, abundance feels risky without a strong foundation.
In times of scarcity or financial shock, this wiring becomes even more pronounced. Stress narrows our perspective, making it harder to see solutions or opportunities. We focus on immediate survival, often at the expense of long-term strategy.
Divorce: A Financial and Emotional Earthquake
Few life events expose this paradox more clearly than divorce. Divorce is a unique financial earthquake—it disrupts not only your bank accounts but also your sense of security, identity, and independence.
Suddenly, expenses multiply: legal fees, new living arrangements, lifestyle adjustments. The emotional toll mirrors the financial one, leaving many feeling unmoored. For some, the aftermath of divorce can become a defining financial setback.
But here’s the thing: financial shocks, like divorce, are also opportunities. They force us to strip away what isn’t working and rebuild with intention. The Wonder Mindset invites us to approach these moments with curiosity and creativity, asking: What does this moment make possible? What systems can I design to thrive moving forward?
Why Abundance Often Evaporates
I’ve met many people who successfully manifest financial abundance—a windfall, a lucrative new job, or even a burst of business success. But without alignment, that abundance often feels fleeting.
This is the result of what I call chasing energy. When we prioritize having more over creating stability and clarity, we can become trapped in a cycle of workaholism or endless hustle. The abundance becomes a moving target, and we chase after it, always feeling behind.
Here’s the insight: abundance without a strong foundation—without systems, habits, and emotional alignment—can trigger the same stress as scarcity. It’s not the abundance itself that brings peace; it’s how we prepare to hold and sustain it.
The People Who Seem to Have “Enough”
Then there are the people who always seem to have “just enough.” They’re not necessarily wealthy, but they move through financial challenges with calm and confidence.
Their secret? Alignment. These individuals approach money with a mindset of sufficiency rather than scarcity. Neuroscience backs this up: gratitude and intentionality activate neural pathways associated with creativity and resilience. They trust in their ability to manage what they have, focusing on clarity and purpose rather than accumulation.
The Wonder Mindset Path to Financial Stability and Abundance
Here’s how we can escape the paradox of abundance and scarcity, using tools from neuroscience, design thinking, and the Wonder Mindset:
1. Understand Your Subconscious Blocks
Ask yourself: What does abundance mean to me? For many, it’s not about more money—it’s about safety, freedom, or peace. Understanding your deeper “why” helps uncover subconscious fears that may sabotage you.
2. Focus on Stability First
Imagine abundance as a flowing river. Without strong banks—financial systems, habits, and a resilient mindset—the water overflows and dissipates. Build those banks by mastering financial basics like budgeting, saving, and clear goal setting.
3. Reframe Financial Shocks
Shocks like divorce or job loss are painful, but they’re also opportunities to rebuild with intention. Ask: What does this moment make possible? What can I create that aligns with my values and goals?
4. Practice Emotional Regulation
Stress triggers survival-mode thinking, but mindfulness and gratitude can calm the amygdala (your brain’s fear center) and re-engage the prefrontal cortex (your decision-making center). Practices like deep breathing and journaling help widen your perspective.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
Incremental progress rewires your brain to focus on possibilities rather than limitations. Saving your first $100, creating a budget, or paying off a small debt are all victories worth celebrating.
6. Adopt a Mindset of Curiosity and Wonder
Money isn’t just numbers—it’s a relationship. Approach it with curiosity: What patterns am I repeating? What new possibilities can I explore? Wonder invites creativity into your financial journey.
Reclaiming Financial Confidence
Abundance isn’t about how much you have—it’s about how aligned you are with your values, goals, and systems. When we approach finances with wonder, we begin to see setbacks as opportunities, chasing energy as a signal to pause, and stability as the true foundation of abundance.
The human mind may be wired for survival, but it also has an extraordinary capacity for growth, creativity, and resilience. When we align with those gifts, we stop chasing and start thriving.
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